Showing posts with label Writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Writing. Show all posts

Wednesday, 22 April 2015

Writing Goals Term 2 2015

Description:
Poutama have sheets that they have to find their goal on, we went through some of our writing peices
and telly marked in the space if we have something that is on the sheet here is my goal and a image of my telly marked sheets.



Goal: To use Connectives in my writing.


Focus On Words:





















Focus On Ideas:





















Focus On Sentences:



















Monday, 9 June 2014

Writing Sample

  • use a range of verbs (evaporate, melt, etc.)
  • use a variety of specific vocabulary (matter, solid, liquid, gas)
  • add significant detail to describe each part (examples, diagram, giff)
  • vary sentence starters
  • organise my ideas into at least 5 paragraphs

    W.A.L.T: Inform


    Recrafted:




    Published:



    I think I did well I met up to the standered because I did all the things that I had to do like put a image my draft and my published piece.
Feedback: I think you did a great job because you met up to the standered.Well Done! Comment by Rosalind

Feed forward: I think you need to work on nothing. Comment by Rosalind.S

Wednesday, 16 April 2014

Draft Report

This my photo of the report I wrote about raffle for a ride.

Sunday, 6 April 2014

The White Horse

                                     The White Horse  

               Chapter:1 
I slide my cold feet out of my bed as I begin to yawn my black short hair 
shimmered in sun as I walked over to the barn to feed my new white horse I was ready to start my journey to the middle of the earth.Then rushed into my bedroom and started to pack just then the phone rang and I rushed to the pantry I grabbed a ham sandwich some biscuits carrots, apples and broccoli. I closed my bag put it on my back we were ready to go. I say gallop and hear my words echo in the distance. As I hear my mum say wait I am alone. She could of seen it in the first place I was being so mysterious!
                                               
                              Chapter:2                             

 I was riding for a little longer when I find a hole look down it and suddenly nose to nose with a gnome. Then there was a clatter and came out of these little holes were 100s of Gomes.
I told them that I was trying to find the middle of the earth then there in my ears I could hear them laughing at me thinking I would never get to the middle of the world. They gave me advice and pulled out a giant shell they said that if you throw this over the back of your shoulder it will help you. So I said" I'll be on my way then by thanks but remember some day the shell will die. I jumped onto my horse and trotted away into the distance.

One day later I woke up to the sound of a low snuffle and a droplet of water hit my nose I looked up to see a lonely fairy I suddenly stopped and stared never seen a real life fairy it was the most amazing thing to see I jumped up and asked the fairy what was wrong she said" A witch has put a spell on me I have no magic nor can I fly." I said I have a shell that will give you good luck throw this over your shoulder and you will become like you were before. "Thank you." said the fairy as I walked away as she fluttered off with her pure white sparkling wings.

Unexpected a flick of lightning struck and I hid in side a burrow snuggling up warm to hear voices. As I peaked through a hole I saw 20 mice gathered around a table with a feast that looked like afternoon tea just a little range of nibbles but no this was dinner to them. Then the mice vanished I was amazed I wonder if I can try to make my self vanish I said what they said" Oco Oco Do." and to my amazement I vanished to where I was heading to the land of dragons.

                                         Chapter:3
There was the sight to see fire volcanos and lava this could not be happening I roped up my horse and pulled out my gleaming sword with an Emerald Stripe down the handle. It was about $50 but it was worth it. I started to run with my excitement my horse came after me as I ran it thought it would be fun so I took him with me. We got to the exit about to disappear when I saw a big muscly dragon I hoped he would not eat me up. When you are in front of someone never disappear so I did what he said and sat there. Once he went to get his wife his guards strapped me up on my horse it was very unfortunate. Once I had cut the rope with my sword we were off and just then I heard a voice in my head Grrrrrrrrr! I suspected it to be the king of dragons as I carried on I got kicked off my horse a bit from a fly in his face or he had or a he stepped in a puddle the odd thing and that.


                                                        Chapter:4                      
We came closer to rock and hard fiery ground that sparked at us with fierceness in side them. I thought in my head we are definitely coming closer to the middle of the earth because now we started to see a glow from the cracks in the earth by now it was getting cold so I snuck a jersey on and found a cave I decided I would stay there for the night so I did then I felt myself move there right in front of me was a crack in the ground then there were lots of cracks and as I fell a wirl wind came across me as I landed in the middle of the earth I started to take pictures and birds came all colours of the rainbow and made an awesome one 15 colours all the same and all in the right order I was amazed I had an awesome trip and there where I was standing I said”Oco Oco Do.” And I was back home. 


                                             The End                                          By Grace.S



   

Tuesday, 18 March 2014

Writing

Feedback:I think you are great at your similes and Personification.
Feed forward:you need to work on Adocotte.



Monday, 17 March 2014

Writing

W.A.L.T: Entertain (recount)
Feedback:You added lots of verbs, juicy words and Similes
Feedfoward:Add more Personifercation, and Adverbs.