Sunday, 23 March 2014

Published Writing

W.A.L.T: Entertain


  As we drove through the waving bushes I had bugs crawling all over 
  me just thinking about it. Once we got the instructions I was
  imagining the 2 trunked tree. Finally we found the cave. It was a
  very big hole. I suddenly saw darkness as I took a few more steps closer 
  and slowly pushed down the button on my torch.
  There were cave wetas everywhere. I felt a shiver run down my spine as I sank to the 
ground, I  felt myself feel like a worm on I'ts tummy getting soaked from top to
  bottom. In front of me there was a blanket of rocks and dirt. My hands were crying because they were so sweaty. This was a very deep dipping cave. We finally got out and I was a jack in the box. There smack! in the middle of my pupil
  I saw a stream of light as if it was a streak of lightning.

By Grace.S



  1. You are good at using adverbs like 'suddenly' and 'slowly' to build a picture for your audience. The simile you changed to a metaphor worked well. Very clever! Perhaps as a next step for publishing you might work on paragraphs.

  2. Wow Grace, there are so many writing features here. I enjoyed your alliteration and metaphors. A blanket of rocks sounds pretty imposing. Thanks for sharing your experiences.